distraction
what do you do when all seems to crumble? when you find yourself thinking teddible thoughts, thoughts that make you shiver and feel disgusted, thoughts that if they had a scent would smell like vomit and adrenaline, thoughts that are your emotional mind screaming "FOLLOW ME MOTHERFUCKER!"
such fun.
the slings and arrows of this are something probably everyone with a bit of imagination (or empathy) can get a feel for. kind of like everyone's dirty little secret is that we all loathe those whom we love, we wish to be alone on this planet, if only for a day, to be free to climb statues in museums, piss off the top of mount rushmore, go naked into the ocean during the day on an otherwise crowded beach, go to the top of a sky scraper and scream at the top of our lungs.
the truth of the matter is that the emotional turmoil will not go away, even if allowed such dramatic and fansiful release. though most people are not aware of this, we choose, every second of every day, to endorse our emotions, to defy rationality and go with our "guts," "groins," "hearts," or all three depending on the day. the choice is just not something that we are aware of. it seems "natural" so we do it. yeah, well Joseph Smith, the guy who founded the Mormon Church, also went with "natural," which for him was his groin. He made polygamy part of the religion, so as to sow his holy seed in as many young girls as possible. just because it feels right doesn't mean it is right. millions of dysfunctional relationships are based on "feeling right," and we know how many divorces there are, how many abusing relationships.
it's something I'm getting a front row seat for with a co-worker. her boyfriend just broke up with her because their long distance relationship wasn't working out, or so he said. for hours I have bombarded her with reasons based on their incompatibility why not to try to win him back or go visit him or call him. others have done the same. she says "yeah, I know, I know." but then straight from her heart, which is still clinging desperately to a love lost, a death in a part of its chambers, she says "but I am going to try anyway." there's that emotional mind saying DO AS I SAY!!!
and we do.
and I do.
but I work hard figuring how not to.
good luck, H.
such fun.
the slings and arrows of this are something probably everyone with a bit of imagination (or empathy) can get a feel for. kind of like everyone's dirty little secret is that we all loathe those whom we love, we wish to be alone on this planet, if only for a day, to be free to climb statues in museums, piss off the top of mount rushmore, go naked into the ocean during the day on an otherwise crowded beach, go to the top of a sky scraper and scream at the top of our lungs.
the truth of the matter is that the emotional turmoil will not go away, even if allowed such dramatic and fansiful release. though most people are not aware of this, we choose, every second of every day, to endorse our emotions, to defy rationality and go with our "guts," "groins," "hearts," or all three depending on the day. the choice is just not something that we are aware of. it seems "natural" so we do it. yeah, well Joseph Smith, the guy who founded the Mormon Church, also went with "natural," which for him was his groin. He made polygamy part of the religion, so as to sow his holy seed in as many young girls as possible. just because it feels right doesn't mean it is right. millions of dysfunctional relationships are based on "feeling right," and we know how many divorces there are, how many abusing relationships.
it's something I'm getting a front row seat for with a co-worker. her boyfriend just broke up with her because their long distance relationship wasn't working out, or so he said. for hours I have bombarded her with reasons based on their incompatibility why not to try to win him back or go visit him or call him. others have done the same. she says "yeah, I know, I know." but then straight from her heart, which is still clinging desperately to a love lost, a death in a part of its chambers, she says "but I am going to try anyway." there's that emotional mind saying DO AS I SAY!!!
and we do.
and I do.
but I work hard figuring how not to.
good luck, H.
posted by H at 4:40 PM
1 Comments:
H, holy crap. this is agony and beauty sharing lunch, love and hate cuddling in a '49 Chevy. a sincere attempt Not to grasp at that which cannot be grasped, but the realization that it is there and hot and beautiful. mad props. love X
Post a Comment
<< Home