cover it with gas and set it on fiaaaah
just saw ween last night for the first time in over one whole year. it was good to be back in the fold again. the crowd seemed really into it, which really makes a world of difference when seeing bands that actually feed off the crowd in a visible and tangible way. you go to see some rehearsed pop show bullshit and they do their performance, all synched and choreographed, and then you go home. it doesn't matter if you scream or sit down or throw panties at the stage with your number on them, the show goes on and the lights burn your retina and then you buy a $50 t shirt and go home.
It is now a few days after the shows and I am still basking in the afterglow somewhat, but things are more "back to business" than they were before.
Things are really stew-y in my head right now. this whole GRE thing has been engulfing my life to such an extent that I feel like I am behind this stupid glass wall and can see what I feel removed from, but can't get to it. I go to gung fu class Sunday mornings and literally suck up every single word that Professor says to me. I just stare and listen and let my little overstuff brain take in all of the knowledge he throws down that I think a lot of people don't really soak up. Whenever I am there I realize how much I am aching to be rid of this standardized test bullshit, how I wish to discard the fetters of studying stupid useless vocabulary and areas of circles, and word problems about marbles in a bag. yeah, it does the brain good to work hard, but now I am just being forced into some mold that deranged idiots at the Educational Testing Services have deemed fit for that of a successful grad student. Fuck that. Fuck it fuck it fuck it. I would be an amazing, hyper motivated and focused grad student, and subsequent researcher and college professor, but because I don't play their stupid little games well enough I might just end up with nothing.
I have been trying so hard to take a lighter approach to this whole deal. I guess this is just another one of those pains that I have to endure to further be a wolf in sheep's clothing. Further steps I need to take in achieving "conventional" success and recognition, only to take everything that has come before me and shake it up like a coke can, making it explode, flinging sugary, nutritionless goo onto all surrounding parties. by everything I mean all the pointless masturbatory science testing hypothesis after hypothesis, narrowing results to the most obvious of obvious conclusions, getting nowhere wasting precious man and woman power on things that should be a given in a well-run society.
so with that goal in mind this hurdle should be a laughable one. one that I can skip over only to move further into the realm that I wish to pass through. transcend.
I like speaking softly and carrying a big stick. but sometimes, like when I don't have a good view of the stage at a ween show, all I want to do is launch tall dudes out of my way so my small, 4'10'' friend can see. push against the ground and pivot the hips. send the hurdles flying.
don't think it hasn't crossed my mind.
H
It is now a few days after the shows and I am still basking in the afterglow somewhat, but things are more "back to business" than they were before.
Things are really stew-y in my head right now. this whole GRE thing has been engulfing my life to such an extent that I feel like I am behind this stupid glass wall and can see what I feel removed from, but can't get to it. I go to gung fu class Sunday mornings and literally suck up every single word that Professor says to me. I just stare and listen and let my little overstuff brain take in all of the knowledge he throws down that I think a lot of people don't really soak up. Whenever I am there I realize how much I am aching to be rid of this standardized test bullshit, how I wish to discard the fetters of studying stupid useless vocabulary and areas of circles, and word problems about marbles in a bag. yeah, it does the brain good to work hard, but now I am just being forced into some mold that deranged idiots at the Educational Testing Services have deemed fit for that of a successful grad student. Fuck that. Fuck it fuck it fuck it. I would be an amazing, hyper motivated and focused grad student, and subsequent researcher and college professor, but because I don't play their stupid little games well enough I might just end up with nothing.
I have been trying so hard to take a lighter approach to this whole deal. I guess this is just another one of those pains that I have to endure to further be a wolf in sheep's clothing. Further steps I need to take in achieving "conventional" success and recognition, only to take everything that has come before me and shake it up like a coke can, making it explode, flinging sugary, nutritionless goo onto all surrounding parties. by everything I mean all the pointless masturbatory science testing hypothesis after hypothesis, narrowing results to the most obvious of obvious conclusions, getting nowhere wasting precious man and woman power on things that should be a given in a well-run society.
so with that goal in mind this hurdle should be a laughable one. one that I can skip over only to move further into the realm that I wish to pass through. transcend.
I like speaking softly and carrying a big stick. but sometimes, like when I don't have a good view of the stage at a ween show, all I want to do is launch tall dudes out of my way so my small, 4'10'' friend can see. push against the ground and pivot the hips. send the hurdles flying.
don't think it hasn't crossed my mind.
H
posted by H at 8:09 PM
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